Published: Saturday, 25 February 2017 02:38
Years ago my heart closed to survive intense feelings of disappointment over un-manifested dreams. Without a true awareness and understanding of innate prosperity allowed mental clutter, renting space in my head, to get in the way of creating a lifestyle that felt joyfully thriving and satisfying.
My ex at that time lost his job and asked me to step up and shoulder more financial responsibility by finding a "practical" job; as though being a full-time mom, creative entrepreneur and nurturing, intuitive soul carried little value or weight on their own.
After swallowing a bitter cocktail of insecurity, disappointment and lack of support towards nurturing imagination and creativity, found a job to help pay the bills. Going into action mode activated my own worst critic (internal monkey chatter) that loved beating the drum of do, do, do; locking dreams into a deep corner of my mind and throwing away the key.
In looking back observed how deep the monkey chatter, prompting "do" mode, was originally tied to a lingering echo in the chambers of old memories and attached to my little girl; who desired to appease a father who’s biggest legacy was telling six children that working hard was the only way to earn a living.
Watching how his heart closed through several attempts at creating a thriving carpenter business, in the midst of dealing with clients who owed him money, was uncomfortably intense. Wanting to soothe his disappointment unconsciously became the dominating factor in my little girl's mind, rather than what infinite soul wisdom desired to experience.
Fast forward to a job covering bills and food. In following someone else's opinion about ways to earn money, found my own creative expression shrinking smaller and smaller.
Unconsciously beating the drum of appeasing ex's "practical" money blueprint, and father's belief that money only comes from hard work, found my head spinning in a continuous loop; circling a drain around seeking external love and approval over trusting my own intuitive intelligence.
Pushing my mind to focus more on the “to do” list eventually led to my heart feeling weighed down by a dismal mound of obligations. Forcing myself to keep a happy sticker on the situation caused my head to go on autopilot; attached to a body too exhausted to open up and receive creative replenishment.
Living only from head space led my heart on numerous, distracting entanglements; especially when my focus was placed on avenues out of alignment with intuitive, soul wisdom.
The first entanglement surfaced through attachment to outdated family, tribal obligations; at the expense of self care. Another entanglement was set in motion during attempts to attract better income through job promotions; in the guise of comparing myself to others.
One of the final entanglements showed up in connection to fear and physical stress through attachments around loss of income; temporary circumstances.
In those scenarios discovered how emotions can appear intensely challenging when holding on to beliefs that resist potential change and transformation. In attempting to re-open the door of heart's desire and creativity, resistance would shout, "Nope, NOT going there…again!" Outdated beliefs can be so clever at times; similar to jester entertainment at a King's Court.
My soul yearned for heart to feel soothed by the playful sounds mother nature offers when frolicking through windchimes or rustling of leaves; sensations that always prompt my heart into feeling more connected with the simple pleasures of life force.
It took several acts of creative courage to reclaim power back from what been constructed and built into my personal reality.
As I began creating healthier boundaries in all relationships, beginning with creating beliefs that serve and support greater harmony and wellbeing, was finally able to re-open my heart and allow love's intuitive wisdom to flow and guide my choices.
In the aftermath of releasing these entanglements a new reality of "love always wins" was set in motion.
I fully believe hope and faith can hold sacred soul fires too strong to douse once ignited. The power of love understands how detours and entanglments can be "course" corrected; in tandem with a clear understanding of infinite intelligence, regardless of appearances.
In a blink of an eye, as Dorothy realizes in the land of Oz, the power to go home is always within us. We are present and wholly at home in our bodies when our mind and hearts become synced with our innate, divine power that outshines any circumstances attempting to keep us from reaching our full potential.
Sacred soul fire faithfully seeks to come through any tiny crack in the doors of our mind so truth can shed light on beliefs that may keep us in the dark (shade).
In my case, body courageously stepped forth as a beacon of hope by delivering physical symptoms of dis-ease too large to ignore or dismiss.
Upon re-awakening, heart whispered, "Oh beloved soul…thank you for bringing the elixir of love to pour grace and mercy into the cracks attached to judgmental resistance; the only elixir that can illuminate light upon fear's shade wrapped in the guise of "circumstantial" obstacles."
In the midst of soul’s garden love called forth intuitive wisdom, compassion and kindness to untangle and pull the overgrowth accumulated through attachment to outdated beliefs and perceptions. In the absense of overgrowth, hope was given a clearing to plant new potentialities that blossom through manifesting soul's true purpose.
Hope's seeds began nourishing heart and mind with liquid rays of gratitude and appreciation by replenishing them with the splendor and magic within soul's garden. As heart joyfully began dancing again with creative imagination, through a daily dose of thankfulness for all that is, head awakened and synced into greater understanding of how contrast can lead to greater love and acceptance for the journey of evolving our human potential.
In closing will share a download of a vision during meditation. Our consciousness harmoniously co-exists in a miraculous, physical form that unconsciously offers a continuous flow of air and blood pumping life into a bio stream of chemicals and electrical impulses; in absolute synchronicity with the power of infinite life force. Life force flows unfettered through a universal, unified field of limitless existence between everything unseen and seen.
This intelligence, combined with intuitive imagination and creativity, streams limitless potentialities through soul's guidance system for the pure joy of offering our human minds new, potential manifestions into unchartered territories. All humans are gifted with limitless opportunities to sow and reap these potentialities because infinite intelligence consciously creates this process through human form.
Souls arrive on the planet eagerly anticipating greater expansion of unique expression within this grand adventure called human life. These souls activate greater variety and choices by helping humanity understand how the power of consciousness manifests life force energy beyond anything man-made.
Am humbly blessed and honored to have co-created 3 souls who actively engage their desire for creative expression and freedom through allowing intuition to guide them. Each offers a different flavor of love, courage, creativity and enriching sense of humor I've found to be anchors of promise in the midst of encountering life's interesting curveballs.
Together our soul purposes began re-grafting the ancesteral tree with healthy limbs of healing love, hope and prosperity. Through the power of love and acceptance, wisdom began gently pruning generational debris that had kept older limbs from greater expansion and growth which flows from oneness in spirit, mind and body with divine life force.
Am forever thankful Love Always Wins; no matter what!